Being a Perfectionist is Stressful
Why perfectionists are so stressed out and a few tips to help cope .
People who struggle with perfectionistic tendencies are usually smart high achievers. Unfortunately, they can also have difficulty being in the moment and feeling positive emotions. The good news is that perfectionism is a habit, not an identity- and habits can be changed.
Why do people with this habit get more “stressed out” than the average person? The inner standards that they hold themselves (and other people) to are unrealistic and exhausting. Throughout their days, nearly every experience is either a competition or a measuring stick for their self worth. This leads to self criticism, criticism of others, blame, worry and attempts to control anything and everything they can. They are people pleasers who have difficulty saying “no”, or procrastinators worried that they won’t be able to do the task perfectly so they have difficulty getting started.
How to make new habits:
Our brain is very adaptable and is capable of making new habits with enough consistency. Here are a few tips to get started:
1- Learn to fail. In fact, practice failing. Failing leads to learning, growth and eventually the success that you want.
2- Reassess your standards and consciously change them to be challenging, but not unrealistic.
3- Practice being grateful- not only for what you have, but for the person that you are and all of the positive things you bring to this world.
4- Put a stop to the negative thoughts in your head. Consciously make the effort to stop them, and then replace them with something positive or reassuring.
5- Allow yourself to feel your emotions- all of them. It’s not possible to pick and choose which emotions you are going to experience. It’s a variety pack and you get all of them. If you shut down some, you essentially shut down your ability to feel the rest.
Taking the burden of perfectionistic tendencies off your plate will allow you to lead a happier and less stressful life. Good luck!
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