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  • kattruman73

Handling Conflict During the Holidays.

Holidays can be stressful for many reasons. Spending time with certain people can occasionally lead to frustrating situations and flared tempers. Here are a few tips to keep your sanity and the holiday spirit. :)

1. Take a step back and give yourself a few minutes so you don’t say something you might regret later. Nobody wants to be told how to parent their children, how to cook dinner or be lectured on a differing political viewpoint. This can trigger us into conflict. Step away from the trigging person.

2. Breathe. Deep, tactical breathing helps us engage our built in calming super powers. Take a few deep breaths before speaking. Or maybe 20 depending on what the person in question just said to you.

3. Listen. Really hear the other person. This can be difficult when we start to feel emotional, but many times if we can step back and hear past the criticism or offensive remark the true meaning becomes clear. Maybe someone needs to feel important, or maybe they are fearful of something or feel insecure. Most of what other people say has more to do with them than it does with you.

4. Ask for clarification. Sometimes we assume we understand the message the other person is trying to convey without having confirmation. And many times the person in question doesn’t realize how their comment impacted others. “It sounds like you might be saying _______. Is that what you really meant?”

5. Be willing to compromise and meet in the middle, or at the very least just agree to disagree and possibly table the conversation for a later date if it needs to be revisited.

6. Decide what you need and how you feel best moving forward. Take the action you need to (or tell others what you need) to take care of yourself. Maybe you need to sit at the opposite end of the table from the person who is frustrating you, or have a friend or family member act as a buffer to get through the night peacefully.

Good luck! For more information contact me at:

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